


Take My Waking Slow

by victoria_p (musesfool)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-09-19
Updated: 2005-09-19
Packaged: 2018-09-15 08:33:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9226838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musesfool/pseuds/victoria_p
Summary: Draco needs to know.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little bit of Draco for LaT, as they tell me it's her birthday.

_I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow._  
_I feel my fate in what I cannot fear._  
_I learn by going where I have to go._  
"The Waking" - Theodore Roethke

*

Draco stared at the old copy of the _Prophet_ , the screaming headlines-- _Sirius Black Killed in Duel with Death Eaters; Ministry Admits Black’s Innocence_ \--and the laughing photograph of a madman who was not, it seemed, the Dark Lord’s right-hand man after all.

He thought of the man he’d taunted Potter with, the man he’d secretly looked up to, tried to emulate, until he’d learned the truth. He’d combed the school for references to his mother’s family--Bellatrix Black, Slytherin Seeker; Andromeda Black, Head Girl; Regulus Black, Captain, Slytherin Quidditch Team. He’d even found a picture of Snape, surly as ever, in Quidditch robes, clutching his broom as if it were his only friend. Given the way even in the photograph his teammates seemed to leave space around him, it was possible that was true.

There had been a curious lack of information about Sirius Black’s official school activities, though James Potter showed up again and again, Quidditch Captain, star Chaser, Head Boy. It made Draco sick to think of it.

He’d found a picture of Black and Potter together, shocked to see his own eyes staring out from under a fall of sleek dark hair, full-lipped mouth curved in a wicked grin, arm tossed casually around the shoulders of a messy-haired boy who looked exactly like Potter, except for the scar.

It had made him wonder if things could have been different, if Potter had been sorted into Slytherin, if he hadn’t taken up with Weasley and Granger.

"You knew him, didn’t you, sir?" he asked, looking up from the paper as Professor Snape set a mug of steaming tea down on the table in front of him.

"Black?" Snape laughed unpleasantly. "We were in the same year at Hogwarts, yes."

"He was--How did he--The family--" Draco wasn’t sure what exactly he was asking, what he wanted to know, except _more_ about this mysterious figure who had loomed so large in all their lives and about whom no one would ever speak.

"He was a fool, an arrogant, obnoxious bastard," Snape said, plucking the crumpled, grease-stained paper from his hand and tossing it into the fire.

Draco forced himself not to cringe as flames devoured the face that was unknown, yet so familiar. "A blood traitor."

"That, also." Snape's lip curled into a sneer, though Draco knew he was a half-blood himself, had learned that the night he'd--they'd--His brain stopped, still unable to process what he’d done--Fenrir Greyback at Hogwarts, Dumbledore’s calm acceptance of his fate, his apparent strength even in his utter weakness, the green flash of light and the way his body had risen, fallen.

He wrapped trembling fingers around the warm ceramic mug and swallowed hard.

"What happened to Cousin Regulus?"

Snape’s lips twisted again. "Another fool. Or perhaps he was mad as well. It seems to be endemic in your family. The inbreeding, you know."

Draco nearly dropped the mug at this insolence. "How dare you--" he began hotly, only to be interrupted as Snape rose, batlike, nearly hissing in fury.

"How dare I? How dare you! Do you know what I have done for you, you stupid boy? What I have given up? What I yet may lose?"

Draco looked down into his tea, pale brown and tepid now, no comfort from the gathering ghosts and darkness. "No," he said sullenly. "I don’t." That stopped Snape dead, mouth working soundlessly. "Nobody tells me anything," he continued as Snape remained silent, pressing his advantage.

"And yet you think you know so much." Snape waved a dismissive hand. "You know nothing because it was safer--"

"Safer?" Draco laughed mirthlessly. "Safer for whom? You’ll forgive me, _Professor_ ," he tried imbue his voice with as much disdain as Snape had earlier, "if I don’t feel very safe, considering that my father is in Azkaban, the Dark Lord must know by now that I failed in my mission, and I’m stuck in some godforsaken hovel with the most wanted man in the wizarding world after the Dark Lord himself."

Snape sat as abruptly as he’d risen, robes billowing in the dim light. "What is it you want to know?"

"Everything," he said, without hesitation. "I need to know everything." _You’re a teacher,_ he thought desperately, though he tried to keep his face blank. _Teach me what I need to know, what I’m supposed to do._

There was a long silence, but Draco held himself still--he had learned, this year, how to wait, how to be patient--under Snape’s skeptical appraisal.

"Very well," Snape said with a decisive nod. "Where do you wish to begin?"

Draco took a deep, steadying breath, and asked.

end


End file.
